You Must Live in Maine

It seems every day my inbox is flooded with jokes or such that are forwarded from friends. Often I don't read them because I get tired of scrolling, scrolling, scrolling through all the "forward to". But, my Mom insisted that I read one today. And, I'm glad she did. It's comedian Jeff Foxworthy's take on Maine. And, for the record, I get all of these so I must live in Maine. (Note: He doesn't say "from Maine" because here in Maine, that's a whole different story....)

Foxworthy on Maine: 

If you consider it a sport to gather your food by drilling through  18 inches of ice and sitting there all day hoping that the food will swim by, 
You might live in Maine 

If you have ever refused to buy something because it's "too spendy", 
You might live in Maine 

If your local Dairy Queen is closed from November through March, 
You might live in Maine 

If someone in a store offers you assistance, and they don't work there, 
You might live in Maine 

If your dad's suntan stops at a line curving around the middle of his forehead, 
You might live in Maine 

If you have worn shorts and a parka at the same time, 
You might live in Maine 

If your town has an equal number of bars and churches, 
You might live in Maine 

If you know how to say...Wicked. ..Up to camp. .Ayuh.Can't get there from heyah, 
You might live in Maine 

If you think that ketchup is a little too spicy, 
You might live in Maine 

If vacation means going "up north" for the weekend, 
You might live in Maine 

If you measure distance in hours, 
You might live in Maine 

If you know several people, who have hit deer more than once, 
You might live in Maine 

If you often switch from "Heat" to "A/C" in the same day and back again, 
You might live in Maine 

If you can drive 65 mph through 2 feet of snow 
during a raging blizzard without flinching and keep drinking coffee
You might live in Maine 

If you see people wearing hunting clothes at social events, 
You might live in Maine

If you install security lights on your house and garage and leave both unlocked, 
You might live in Maine 

If you think of the major food groups as beer, fish, and Venison, 
You might live in Maine 

If you carry jumper cables in your car, and your wife or girlfriend knows how to use them, 
You might live in Maine 

If there are 7 empty unlocked cars running in the parking lot at Hannafords at any given time, 
You might live in Maine 

If you design your kid's Halloween costume to fit over a snowsuit, 
You might live in Maine 

If driving is better in the winter because the potholes are filled with snow, 
You might live in Maine 

If you know all 4 seasons: almost winter, winter, still winter, and of course, road construction, 
You might live in Maine 

If you can identify a southern or Massachusetts accent, 
You might live in Maine 

If your idea of creative landscaping is a plastic deer next to your blue spruce, 
You might live in Maine 

If "Down South" to you means Boston 
You might live in Maine 

If you know "scat" is something you don't eat, 
You might live in Maine 

If you find -10 degrees "a little chilly", 
You might live in Maine 

If you actually understand these jokes, and you forward them to all your Maine friends, 
Youdefinetly live in Maine